A man with kaso will always be ugly.
A man who picks out the right clothes for an occasion, drives carefully on the road, speaks eloquently and can cook a decent meal? He’s usually celebrated as a catch. But when he budgets and plans for his money, it’s always a different story.
You could be one of the most handsome men in the room but if word goes round that you’re a man who watches how his money is spent, not even a glistening six pack is going to save you.
Men are expected to be providers but when they will not be moved by unplanned expenditure that has them carefully managing and tracking their money, they simply stop being attractive.
But this is a rather tricky thing to navigate.
When people enjoy your money, you look and sound like Idris Elba. Friends, girlfriend, wife or family see and hear a man with aura and presence when you have money to splash on their needs, wants and cravings.
We spend a great deal of time encouraging men to find someone to talk to about their issues. But one of those issues is money.
We’re not teaching each other to watch our spending. Or to be more diligent with money.
The kind of man we’re talking about here is not one without means. He has finances and means. But he watches his money carefully so as not to shoot over his planned budget. Sudden expenditure does not move him because he sticks to a specific budget. How boring!
Young men grow up believing that money rewards them with women, friends and flashy things. And it does. But we don’t encourage men to manage their money the way we say we shouldn’t cry. That we should be strong.
Spending within our means does not equate denying family or even friends a hand when it comes to finances. It simply means you have discerned how money shouldn’t equate masculinity. That it is alright to do your part without aspiration to be a big buyer.
We must stop being people’s last hope when as men at our lowest, few people give us the same hope but also share bemusement with our predicament – planned or not.
A man who budgets is also unpopular with fellow men. If he watches his pocket, he isn’t invited to chills or trips. And it’s not that he won’t have the money. He needs to budget for it, save or work extra to spend it. Men like these are boring to men. Imagine being excommunicated from a circle of friends because you’re careful with your money, where and how you spend it?
We can agree that there are men who wouldn’t look out of place with warthogs but are always the life of the party. Why? Money makes your skin glow. You smell nice when you spend money. Money makes you taller. It deepens your voice.
Money makes a man sexy, appealing and attractive to women and men in equal measure. So, Zambian man, do you want to be sexy or sensible?
