Like an Airbus on Autopilot
Do you see how we implode like Arsenal FC in April after the breakdown of a relationship or marriage and the death of a spouse? Zambian man is like an Airbus on autopilot once home comforts become familiar. This is underlined by his failure to flourish in the aftermath of romantic routine.
Suddenly, you have to eat. For whatever reason, she’s not there anymore. She died, the marriage failed, the relationship just didn’t come alive or she’s tired of load shedding, moved abroad and is now dating Miguel or Olusegun.
But you don’t know where she kept the baking powder. No idea which plate on the stove still works. She used to complain about it but you never got round to fixing it. Well, here we are.
Junior has an allergy but you have zero idea what triggers his swollen eyes. There’s the school meals where you have no clue what the kids eat. And what the hell is 200ml Appetito?
Your clothes. Where’s your branded work shirt? You can’t find it because it would be ironed and laid out on your bed for casual Friday at work. Now, you don’t know if it’s been washed, ironed or even exists.
Normally, you know the sockets that work in the house. You have the number for the mechanic or plumber. You know where the vaccination cards for the dogs are and when your car is due for service. You’re a man with a woman.
But men with women forget to mingle with life.
We quickly relinquish all aspects of our means and mental well-being the moment she walks through the door and makes the house a home.
Yet modern day realities require us to be more agile in the way we navigate this life thing.
Never forgetting how to iron your own shirt, prepare a good meal for yourself or invest time in your relationship with your children. There are not enough kalindula songs about a man without the everyday means to navigate separation or loss.
See how he resorts to quickly introduce ’daddy’s new friend’ to his children the moment the marriage, relationship or their mother dies. He needs a buffer because he really doesn’t know them, their school teacher and blood type.
The modern man is a dynamic one because he simply cannot afford not to be. He also has to know where the groceries are cheaper, be skilled enough to cook a family meal, know his children’s shoe sizes and their best friends’ parents.
This is why modern man begins to fade away after the breakdown of his relationship or marriage. He reverts to being a child when all is well and programmatically stops to mingle with the remarkable miniature of life.
Of course he needs a partner to enjoy sunsets with. Only a brute wouldn’t. But man’s inability to dance when life’s soundtrack changes from Yo Maps to Pompi is simply because once he has a woman, he reduces the volume on life’s rhythm.
