Please Tell Your Fathers That We’re Tired …

There is a Zambian man who has become quite a common sight. You won’t find him dancing to amapiano at Dacapo, filming people on the streets and force-feeding them a dictionary or talking at every forum, masterclass and conference in town.

You’ll find this man on radio, TV, social media and especially this year, in the community. Usually talking about everything that is wrong about Zambia and how he has figured out a way out of our predicament. 

If he’s not doing this, there will be another one standing behind him nodding his head to some grandstanding speech about making things better. And as we now know, you can get comically bundled into a Police van for leaving home to support a politician’s dream. 

It is increasingly looking like the path of the Zambian man is to work until his late fifties to early sixties then suddenly pick up the bug to make this country better. If at all.

Becoming a politician is the Zambian man’s mid-life crisis. The savvy young men and women in the workplace have edged him out of day to day management. AI is eating him alive. 

His children are all grown and carving out a life of their own. His wife is the admin of several village banking WhatsApp groups and has meetings that end at 18hrs after Sunday’s church sermon. 

For the Zambian man above the age of 60, the most viable social club is politics. 

Here, he suddenly feels at home. Where he can vent, laugh and send minions to get teargassed. 

He is now a regular fixture at court in his charcoal grey jacket and black chinos, providing moral support to friends that have been sued by the state for sedition, corruption and everything contrary to a section of cap something. 

He is on radio and TV shows every other week telling us that his presidency or representation of a constituency would propel the people of Zambia into first world citizens.

Politics is beginning to look like a social club where old men banter about each other’s wives, side chicks, a run down Mercedes and how they’ve lost their pension to students and scams. 

It is the real reason a politician struggles with identity and mental health when he’s voted out of power or not adopted as a candidate. He is despondent because his exclusion from this member’s club stops him from insulting on national TV as his friends and chola boys laugh for their beer and house rentals.

So please tell your fathers and grandfathers that we are tired. That they can stay home and allow fresh ideas. Play with their grandchildren. 

Every man can choose what he wants to pursue after his best days are behind him. We can all grant each other this grace. It’s just that the old man dancing in the club at 2AM is no different from the old man dancing at a rally. It’s a little too late. Go home and rest. We’re tired.