Gentlemen, We Have a Problem.

Sundays are when existential dread sneaks up on a man. He wonders when he’ll have a showroom vehicle in his yard, questions if his children resemble him, ponders whether waking up with a hangover and stranger in his bed is how his life will be. 

It all boils down to the pandemic of male loneliness. Modern man, more than his ancestors, is arguably the loneliest of the lot.

We spend the better part of our lives pursuing all of life’s trimmings at the expense of how we’ll spend the days when sunrise finds us with nothing to do, friends and families we’ve buried.

This is why the return of the English Premier League is welcomed like a lost lover in these parts. It fills the vacuum of modern masculinity. 

And that’s why we have to be allowed our interests, no matter how obscure or dramatic they seem to be.

Take the bikers on our roads every Sunday. The time they share, negotiating curves and corners builds a bond that lasts over a lifetime. When one of them passes, they get together and send their friend off with grace and love. 

That’s something you don’t get from watching TV at home because “I’m not really an outgoing person.” 

You have to find your tribe and thrive with it. And the world is changing for men. We have communities that we can belong to and find purpose, if not, friendships. 

Find common ground. Some men chase women together, others pursue government tenders. In a sense, it proves correct the old saying that “Men go crazy in congregations, they only get better one by one.” 

But in truth, we only lose our focus when we join other men in doing the things that bring us no value. There are no golfers who die a lonely death. They are nursed to their last breath by the men they tee off with every Saturday morning. 

Don’t you see how widows live many years after their spouse passes? Their community of gardening, baking or knitting keeping them excited about the next day? 

What do men have in the sunset of their lives? Grandchildren too busy to see them. Children preoccupied with capitalism. Ex workmates incapacitated to pop round for a cup of tea. 

You will only address the coming loneliness when you deal with it today. By forming strong bonds over a football team, motorbikes, golfing, Formula One, fishing, vintage motoring. 

Find a hobby. Reach out to fellow men interested in vinyl records, 90s music, farming, football, religion, motoring, gym, jogging. There is a community out there that will give you the six men to carry your casket to your resting place. 

You don’t have to be alone. There are other men looking for you, seeking your shared interests to navigate the pandemic of male loneliness.