Give Yourself Some Credit.

Men’s perpetual paranoia that they’re going to lose it all might actually be the reason they end up with much less than they’ve spent years building.

Overthinking is crippling. Where your business, health, marriage or career is thriving, the tendency to push the pedal harder is something most of us are guilty of. We’re in a constant state of fear that the job, car, girlfriend, constituency or presidency might slip away. That’s no way to live.

Sure, it could – and it does – go away in a moment. She’ll say she can no longer stay in the marriage. The company can’t absorb your salary. The country would like to try someone else as its leader. Death and taxes, they say. 

But before that happens, why not savour the moment, the marriage, the job, the career, the car? This constant state of fear of losing what we’ve built and are still building has a downside. 

When are we ever going to enjoy what’s in front of us? Guilt-free because we worked hard for it. Because we do. We work long hours, show up for the thankless role of being a father, undertaker, provider, or sewage unblocker.

We actually can overthink ourselves to career stagnation, early graves, marital tension, broken friendships, and failed business deals. Simply because we’re inclined to worry that it will all go away in an instant. 

Sit at any table with men and their conversation will be of glaring scarcity. Of what has gone wrong for one of the guys who’s not at the table. What’s wrong with the economy. Why the 2025 BMW X6 is not a good car. Everything is a state of panic, fear, and apprehension. Because it is our reality to tread life very lightly. 

How about we look at our lives and take them all in? The 2012 Toyota you bought with your hard-earned money. The healthy children are making a mess in the house. A partner you go home to. The job that pays your bills and your children’s education. The health that keeps you going.

It doesn’t always have to be doomsday. 

We’ve bought into this narrative that masculinity is a war zone. Gents, life can be nice. Even for the 90 minutes when your football team is playing. No harm in taking that as a win. 

Just as it is a win to be able to invoice for your services. Enjoy your favourite meal. Run a marathon. Drive to work. Be married. Be single. Childless. Baby on the way. You have to take what you’ve worked for as a win and not four walls closing in om your mental health. 

Give yourself some credit, man. 

You have the means to earn a living. Or at the very least, the presence of mind to do so. You’ve overcome some dark times. Doesn’t mean you’ll be sprinkling roses the next time you use a urinal.

It means you’ve beaten some bad days but can’t keep replaying them as your default way of life. It’s time to move on. It happened. Enjoy your buttocks settling into that airplane seat, office chair, or football stadium.

This life thing is too short to reinforce our fears.