Zambian Men Are Not Flashy ENOUGH!

There are certain things men used to do. They’d send a smoke signal if they were in distress or to warn another man of a dangerous beast on the loose. There was a system for warning one another of danger or opportunity.

The most help we lend to one another today is when we flash our headlights to oncoming vehicles about an extortionate speed trap or road block set up by Zambia Police.

And even when we do, it’s because we don’t want to give the Police our hard-earned money. It’s not about helping each other follow the law.

Beyond our satisfaction in thwarting the money-making machine that is Zambia Police, its dog eat dog out here. 

Dog don’t pick other dog’s phone call. Dog don’t respond to dog’s email. Dog don’t approve dog’s payment or business proposal because dog don’t sleep with dog.

We must have an honest conversation about why we hoard opportunities that we do not stand to benefit from but know can make a financial difference or help with the mental wellbeing of a fellow man. 

Why do we not alert another man about who they want to vote for as their president, a woman they’re courting or a scam they’re about to sign up for? 

We could do more to flash our headlights in life.

The same joy we have when the Police go back to Central without any earnings is no different from when we don’t flash our headlights to friends and family that could do with an opportunity to pay the rent, school fees or afford a meal for their family.

The vehicles that flash their lights at you on the speed trap hotspots of Great East Road and Kafue Road are rarely people you know. It’s simply other motorists that dislike policemen more than they want to help you. 

And you can count on one hand how many times you’ve encountered a friend or family heading in the opposite direction, warning you of a speed trap or road block. 

But there is an irony to it all. 

The people closest to us do flash their lights at us, it’s just not as hysteric. The lights inadvertently flash when they do fancy drinks and platters around the city without you but only call you when they’re down to their last ten kwacha.

Or when they send you a link for a job, tender or opportunity. That’s a nice set of flashing headlights. Just be more discerning as a man.

We want people’s help to be dramatic, but it comes in the small doses of them calling to check on you, mentioning your name or business to decision makers even when their personal goals and destination are not the same as yours.